Why I feel like Deanna Troi from Star Trek: TNG

Before I launch into my sci-fi analogy (and it’s a good one) some housekeeping… I’m back from London and therefore done with exams and my degree (go me!) but I’m rocking a hideous case of jet lag and exam fatigue that I cannot shake. It’s been a week since I returned and I can’t stop waking up at 5am thinking that I have to go cram Aeschylus or Pliny’s letters. I guess the programming is going to take a while to shake, and it probably doesn’t help that my sinuses are horribly congested thanks to seasonal allergies. So when I wake up at 4 or 5am I start sneezing I can’t get back to sleep. Ugh.

Right, Deanna Troi. Deanna is obviously everyone’s favorite empath who managed to blag her way onto a position on the bridge of the Enterprise, and then exercised squatters’ rights.  Sadly, I have not developed empathic powers and blagged my way into a job with NASA, nor have I discovered the joy of big hair or outfits comprised of shiny Lycra and court shoes.

There is an episode in the second season of TNG where Deanna is impregnated by a mysterious alien entity and she goes through an accelerated pregnancy well that’s me but minus the alien involvement.

Yup, I’m pregnant. But not just pregnant pregnant but PREGNANT PREGNANT; I’m incubating twins so I really am going through the whole rapid expansion. Seriously, it’s insane and I feel like I’m in a sci-fi episode but in a good way rather than a creepy Splice way. I’m only 16 weeks yet I look like I am +20. It makes total sense given that the internal real estate has to expand to house two growing entities. I am just going with it,  accepting that I can only wear pants or skirts with elasticated waist bands and that I have to take it super easy. It would appear that the second trimester surge of energy only lasted 3 weeks for me but it got me through my revision and exams so I can’t complain.

It has been a long journey to get to this point, and I’ve been under the only functioning (self-imposed) super injunction so it’s going to be nice to be able to blog about this, and now I’m done with my degree I actually have the capacity to blog about a lot of other things as well (for instance my alternative ending to Battlestar Galactica) so it going to be a fun summer.

April

My Twitter feed is chock full of tweets about the Virgin London Marathon that is happening today in.. duh.. London, and it reminded me that this time last year I was there. It wasn’t the weekend of the marathon but it was the weekend of the volcanic ash cloud craziness. The Icelandic volcano kicked off on the Thursday and it  grounded flights right, left and center. I’d been in London that week for a series of meetings with my (now ex-) company and our entire global team was stranded there. It was a very odd time. There was a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. I made the decision to stay in London since I was due to fly back over at the end of April and given that I could stay with family so I wasn’t running up a hotel bill and I got a refund on my personal flight so it was a win-win for me. As it turned out everyone flew out within a week or so of the volcanoes initial explosion but it was an odd situation to be in. I think it was the uncertainty that flummoxed everyone.

April is always a fraught month for me, volcano or no volcano, as it signifies the lead up to my exams. The juggling of day job and studying comes to a head and leaves me with stress dreams, an uncontrollable blinking eye and a heart that feels like it is going to burst out of my chest at any moment. Things are a little different this April as I am minus the day job but with three final exams to prep for I feel like I have too much stuff going on in  my head. Thankfully there is some cross over between Greek Drama, Women in Antiquity, and Nero to Hadrian. Yesterday I managed to wade through The Aeneid (one of my many bete noirs) and I am actually feeling excited about re-tackling Lucan’s Civil War on Monday. Imperial epics are probably the toughest thing I’ve had to study as they purposefully set out to be disjointed and fucked-up texts. Going forward I’ve decided to think of them as Klingon epics as they might be easier to make sense of with a couple of glasses of blood wine.

Things on Tuesday

Good

• Last night’s Chuck slayed it when Chuck disarmed a bomb with apple juice and Awesome’s pep talk to Mrs. Awesome
• Remembered choc cake in freezer (am turning into a squirrel ferreting food away)
• Caught up with two seminars so only one left to tackle tomorrow before essay time
• Chinatown lunch date tomorrow

Meh

• Day light saving has kicked my ass
• Might need to find a new chiro as I’ve got intermittent hip pain that wakes me at 4am
• Exam panic
• Why has The Event not been canceled?

Argh – EXAMS!

It’s all quiet on the blogging front at the moment as I hunker down to some serious exam revision. My first exam is on Monday and though it makes me feel like a wobbly jelly I am quite excited. In a week’s time it will all be over (for another year at least) and then I can get back to life, and blogging about life. I have many posts bubbling away – films, theatre, why I left FaceBook and most exciting of all that I have the seedling of an idea for a novel (my summer project).

This time next week I will be on a train heading up the east coast to Scotland so will have plenty of time for reflection and there is a rumor of free wifi on the train…

free at last

I have taken my last exam and can now watch tv/films, read books and blog without feeling guilty – hurrah! Been a busy old month in London. Despite my primary focus being the 6 eggs ‘n’ ham I did manage to fit in a concert, 3 plays, a trip to Edinburgh, 8 galleries/museums, 4 films (reviews on the way) and the odd night out with my friends….phew be glad to get home to relax.

I have celebrated my new found freedom with a trip to a bookshop and got a whole stack of ‘fun’ reading – wonder how many I will get through on my return flight 🙂

Brick Lane by Monica Ali
Notes on a Scandal by Zoe Heller
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night by Mark Haddon
Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
Beautiful Shadow: A Life of Patrica Highsmith by Andrew Wilson
The Lady and the Unicorn by Tracey Chevalier

suitable material

Dear BBC Radio4

Was it a jape or just a bit of a tease to have this afternoons play explore the topic of student stress and suicide….. At other times of the year I whole heartly support tie in dramas but perhaps keep them to winter equinox and Michaelmas.

Regards,

Most confused of NJ

six feet under

As I was revising for my Language Production exam (creative writing or lying to me and you) I realised that this exam turns you into your own grave digger… Confused…. You are given a piece of prose which is to act as stimulus for your own work and then you have to write a commentary on the what you have written – aarrgghhh.

So far I have sat one exam, two next week and the final three in the second week of June. The first went okay, but I am now panicking that they won’t have been able to read my writing….will take even more care in the next exam. The most I hope to get from this spell of examinations is to pass them. A rather low expectation considering how well I did in the essay I submitted *rosy glow from boasting* but a combination of nerves, dyslexia and poor pen menship throw me in the exam room. I reckon that practice is going to get me over it and so by the time I come to sit my next bunch in January (Economics and Sociology) I will be a bit more of a pro 🙂

NB. I must add that I am not fishing here but trying to subtly let Alex know that this is my warm-up round 🙂

old dog + new tricks = tired dog

This revision business is too hard – brain close to reaching its saturation point.
Temporary solution: caffeine and chocolate
Permanent solution: hook me up to a vodka & red bull drip and I’ll forget about this whole self improvement lark…

But, to give me some inspiration isn’t it wonderful that Greg on The Archers is having some luck on the job front. I was a bit worried as he was going all Wuthering Heights and turning into a Heathcliff-style persona….stomping around the countryside at the dead of night with only his dog for company 🙂

Update: Holy cow – on the Archer’s front…..going to take a while for this to sink…..

countdown

First exam in two weeks time – the words “midnight” “burning” “oil” spring to mind!